


Smoking Struggles

by The_Devil_In_The_Details_666



Series: All The Batfam BS [13]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, M/M, Silly, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 00:27:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21127784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Devil_In_The_Details_666/pseuds/The_Devil_In_The_Details_666
Summary: Having an ashtray seems like a simple enough task, right?





	Smoking Struggles

“Jason, darling, I love you and I don’t mind that you smoke, but I swear to god _I will_ _end_ _you_ if you keep leaving cigarette butts on the balcony railing and in the sink. Get a goddamn ashtray. You can buy them at the dollar store.”

Jason looked at his fiancé sheepishly, taking in Tim’s irritated expression, and answered, “Yeah, that’s fair. Sorry, Baby Bird.”

He stood slowly and pulled Tim into a hug, making Tim sigh and lean into him even as he grumbled, “It’s alright. Just get an ashtray, okay?”

Jason kissed his head and answered, “Will do, Baby Bird. I’ll swing by the store and grab one on my way back from patrol.”

True to his word, Jason stopped by the nearest convenience store on his way home and picked up a glass ashtray for 50 cents, which he proceeded to zip-tie to the balcony railing so it didn’t get knocked off. And the problem was solved.

Or maybe not.

It was all Dick’s fault. Completely and entirely Dick’s fault.

“Hey, uh, Little Wing? You know that ashtray on your balcony? Yeah, I may have, uh, knocked it over?”

Jason took a deep breath, because whenever he heard _that_ tone, he wanted desperately to punch Dick in the face. He looked at his older brother and asked, “And you’re telling me this because?”

Dick looked supremely guilty and Jason took another deep, calming breath, then turned to look out at the balcony, where the contents of the ashtray were laying on the concrete. The ashtray itself was in fragments, since apparently Dick had managed to not only knock the ashtray over, but had also managed to snap the zip-tie holding it. Jason felt a muscle in his jaw twitch and he pinched the bridge of his nose, mumbling, “I need a cigarette. And you need to clean up the mess you made, Dickhead.”

Dick quickly retrieved a dustpan and broom from the kitchen, then cleaned up the fragments of ashtray and the ash and cigarettes on the balcony. Jason sent Tim a text requesting that he buy a new ashtray on his way home, along with a photo of Dick with a cat-ear filter and a brief explanation of what happened. Tim bought a new ashtray, they put it on the railing with two zip-ties, and Jason thought that was it.

It wasn’t Dick’s fault the second time. It was Stephanie’s. She swung down onto the balcony and her foot hit the ashtray, snapping the two zip-ties and sending the ashtray smashing against the wall, ash and cigarette butts covering the balcony. Tim made her wash it off, then texted Jason to pick up a new one while he was out. And they once again thought that was it, that it was done.

The third time, it was Damian. The fourth was Dick (again) and the fifth was also Dick.

Jason finally just gave up and bought a steel bucket that he left on the ground.


End file.
